make me a story book,
and write me away from here.there are too many problems in my life right now - my bank account has recently hit an all-time low due to poor financial planning; i have been landing myself in awkward situations which threaten the nature of my relationships with others around me; i have been struggling to adapt to the academic aspect of my university life; and i ought to be disciplined for the negligence of some of my friends.
and most importantly, i need SLEEP badly.
--
whats this life anyway
whats it to you and me
whats it to anyone
who are we suppose to be
make me a storybook
and write me away from here
i need it different now
where we can wear each other
for a while and ill lend you my tears
if i could borrow your smile
and we'll get through tomorrow
some other day
happy after
once upon these days
-- these days | chantal kreviazuk
im subconsciously slipping away.
it was one of the hardest decisions ive ever have to make in my life. but at least, it was an unanimous decision. at least, i dont have to fight a lonely battle. at least, i have a group of friends who will walk along with me. and at least, i can finally unload the excess baggage and breathe a sigh of relief.
for now, i need to recharge myself for the challenges ahead.
--
it is disappointing,
that things turned out the way it did.
and i feel more alone than ever.
--
isnt it sad if the only time you ever met up with a good friend (whom you have drifted or lost touch with for months, or even years) was at the airport terminal, when he/she was about to leave the country to pursue his/her dreams.
you passed her the box of cookies that you had baked the night before, along with a hand-made card where you wrote your well-wishes and expressed your regrets for the time lost. you took out your camera to capture your final moments together - she smiled to conceal her anxieties, while you smiled to hide the sadness that was brewing on the inside. you gave her a hug and a pat on the back, and whispered in her ears a few last words which you had always wanted your friend to know but never had the chance to. as you held your dear friend closely, you felt a lump in your throat, and a rush of grief to your heart. it was a moment to lament, a moment to remember, a moment to treasure, and a moment to cry. finally, you let your friend go and watched her as she entered the departure gate with her backpack on her shoulders and her air ticket in her hands.
you knew that she didnt turn back to wave her final goodbye, not because she didnt want to take one last look at what she was leaving behind, but because she didnt want you to see her break into the tears that she had been trying so hard to hold back.
--
i'd like to think that if i were a golden retriever, and if i were to have a doting owner who spoils me with doggy treats and bacon streaks, who takes me out to the beach for a walk every weekend, who allows me to sleep beside him/her at night, who doesnt mind having my fur and dirty paw prints all over his/her floor, who tells me about his/her problems despite the fact that the only comfort i can ever offer is a bark and a sympathetic look with my puppy eyes, who allows me to stick out my head out of the car window whenever he/she drives, who tickles my tummy and pats my head every morning, who showers me with plenty of attention and tender loving care, then i would be a very happy dog.
i would probably be happier than half the human beings on earth.
--
have you ever reached a point of life, when you feel like you have taken up much more things than you can handle.
every single day of your week is already packed to the brim, yet the list of things-to-do seems to extend to infinity as it never stops piling up; every slot in your schedule is already taken yet there are still so many people you need to catch up with and so many people you have neglected in the past weeks.
if there is anything worse than being broke, it is to run a deficit in time (meaning that the total time of activities planned exceeds the total time you actually have).
it has been a while since you last woke up early enough to have breakfast, and even a longer time since you last went home for a home-cooked meal with your family. every night, you have to gather your reminding bit of energy just to take a shower and brush your teeth, before collapsing on your bed and drifting into deep night's sleep.
it may be true that you tend to be easily irritated, BUT one thing that can
really frustrate you at this point of time, is when you are completely shagged out and you desperately want to tuck yourself into bed, yet your freaking computer simply refuses to cooperate with you - your gmail is conked up, your pages are taking ages to load (long enough for you to doze off on your keyboard), and your recent switch to firefox is giving you a big headache.
you must be on the verge of exploding now.
--
they tell you where you need to go
they tell you when you need to leave
they tell you what you need to know
they tell you who you need to be
but everything inside
you knows theres more than what youve heard
theres so much more than empty conversations
filled with empty words
and youre on fire when hes near you
youre on fire when he speaks
youre on fire burning at these mysteries
give me one more time around
give me one more chance to see
give me everything you are
give me one more chance to be near you
when everything inside me
looks like everything i hate
you are the hope i have for change
you are the only chance ill take
and im on fire when youre near me
im on fire when you speak
im on fire burning at these mysteries.
-- on fire | switchfoot
as much as i appreciate the rest at home which i desperately need, im suffering from withdrawal symptoms of the orientation week. :(
--
i feel cyclothamic, though im not quite sure if the adjective exists.
the excessive euphoria that i experienced over the past week is finally getting to me. after all the highs that i went through, i feel like im sliding down the declining slope of the sine curve right now.
i cant believe it was over in a breeze.
there were so many moments which i had wished i could freeze.
--
